“so tell your gay mom I said thanks”

Gracias 30 Rock por alegrarme los viernes.

You and me, it’s not gonna be a one-way street. ‘Cause I don’t believe in one-way streets. Not between people, and not while I’m driving.

I wanna hold a mirror to society – then win the record for biggest mirror!

You are not merely drunk, Lemon, you are business drunk. Much like rich drunk, either way it’s legal to drive.

She’s like the human Macarena – something everyone did at parties in 1996.

I watched ‘Boston Legal’ eight times before I found out it wasn’t a new ‘Star Trek’.

Lemon, you’re going to work this like a Chinese gymnast: wear tight clothes, put on a fake smile and lie about your age.

When I was a kid, I would look up in the stars and dream of going into space, escaping the slums, and KILLING AN EWOK!

If there’s anything I learned about parenting from my Sims family, it is if the child didn’t get to see his father often, he’ll start jumping up and down, and then his mood levels go down, until he pees himself.

Time only knows the price we have to pay

Ayer alguien encontro mi blog buscando “hombres novios pibes chicos”. Me siento bastante incomoda ahora, urgh.

Les dejo una poesia para sentirnos un poco menos sordidos:

Villanelle

Time will say nothing but I told you so,
Time only knows the price we have to pay;
If I could tell you I would let you know.

If we should weep when clowns put on their show,
If we should stumble when musicians play,
Time will say nothing but I told you so.

There are no fortunes to be told, although,
Because I love you more than I can say,
If I could tell you I would let you know.

The winds must come from somewhere when they blow,
There must be reasons why the leaves decay;
Time will say nothing but I told you so.

Perhaps the roses really want to grow,
The vision seriously intends to stay;
If I could tell you I would let you know.

Suppose the lions all get up and go,
And all the brooks and soldiers run away?
Will time say nothing but I told you so?
If I could tell you I would let you know.

– W. H. Auden

“Yet portion of that unknown plain / will Hogde forever be”

POSNER
“They throw in Drummer Hodge, to rest
Uncoffined – just as found:
His landmark is a kopje-crest
That breaks the veldt around;
And foreign constellations west
Each night above his mound.

“Young Hodge the Drummer never knew –
Fresh from his Wessex home –
The meaning of the broad Karoo,
The Bush, the dusty loam,
And why uprose to nightly view
Strange stars amid the gloam.

“Yet portion of that unknown plain
Will Hodge forever be;
His homely Northern breast and brain
Grow to some Southern tree,
And strange-eyed constellation reign
His stars eternally.”

(…)

HECTOR
The important thing is,  he has a name. Say Hardy’s writing about the Zulu Wars. Or later, or…The Boer Wars, possibly.And these were the first campaigns when soldiers, common soldiers,were commemorated.The names of the dead were recorded and inscribed on war memorials. Before this, soldiers – private soldiers -were all unknown soldiers.And so far from being revered,there was a firm in the 19th century in Yorkshire, which swept up their bones from the battlefields of Europe in order to grind them into fertiliser. So, thrown into a common grave though he may be, he’s still Hodge, the Drummer. Lost boy though he is,on the far side of the world…
he still has a name.

“Uncoffined” is a typical Hardy usage. It’s a compound adjective,formed by putting “un” in front of the noun. Or verb, of course. Unkissed… unrejoicing…. unconfessed… unembraced. It’s a turn of phrase that brings with it
a sense of not sharing, of being out of it, whether because of diffidence or shyness. Of holding back, not being in the swim. Can- can you see that?

POSNER
Yes. Yes, sir. I’ve – I’ve felt it, a bit.

HECTOR
The best moments in reading are when you come across something – a thought, a feeling,a way of looking at things – that you’d thought special,particular to you, and here it is,set down by someone else. A person you’ve never met,maybe even someone long dead.

And – and it’s as if a hand…has come out… and taken yours.

(from The History Boys by Alan Bennett. Poem by Thomas Hardy.)

“Hang You Hotel” y otros cuentos chinos

Shanghai to purge itself of ‘Chinglish’

China’s most cosmopolitan city has launched a campaign against ‘Chinglish’, the ungrammatical and misspelt English that is scattered across its streets.

By Malcolm Moore in Shanghai
Published: 11:29PM BST 24 Aug 2009

The news will dismay many English-speaking residents, who have developed a fondness for the city’s quirky sign Photo: SINOPIX

Shanghai does not want to lose face over the mistranslations and mistakes when thousands of visitors arrive for the World Expo next year.

Teams of student volunteers have been assembled to scour the city for Chinglish and a website will shortly be launched to collect complaints, according to the city’s Language Work Committee.

The news will dismay many English-speaking residents, who have developed a fondness for the city’s quirky signs.

At the Pearl Tower, one of Shanghai’s most famous attractions, a sign forbids “ragamuffin, drunken people and psychotic” from entering.

Further instructions include: “Prohibit carrying animals and the articles which disturb common sanitation (including the peculiar smell of effluvium)” and a ban on “dangerous germs, pests and other baleful biology”.

Meanwhile, on the city’s subway system, signs such as: “If you take the phone on your waistband, as if to send money to the thief” or “If you are stolen, call the police at once” are likely to vanish forever.

Although public signs can be easily altered, there remains some doubt over whether officials can contain the spread of Chinglish among private businesses. Some stores boast that they are “Cellular telephone is monopolied” while a problem using a computer translation tool led one restaurant to proclaim its name as “Translate server error”.

Zhang Ripei, an official on the Language Work Committee, said Chinglish signs were “degrading” to the image of businesses in the city. He mentioned one hotel near Shanghai’s Hongqiao airport which anglicised its name into “Hang You Hotel”.

However, he said the new rules, contained in a ten-volume guide, would not be mandatory and there would be no punishment for firms that refused to correct their signage.

One of the organisers of a student team, who named himself as Mr Yang, said: “I think it’s necessary to follow the standard norms, especially on public signs so that there is no confusion for first time visitors.

“The Chinglish signs are sometimes quite endearing to Shanghai people, but for visitors, especially foreign guests, they can be quite misleading.”

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/china/6081366/Shanghai-to-purge-itself-of-Chinglish.html

Si me preguntan mi opinion como profesional de la lengua, yo diria que el Chinglish la rulea casi tanto como el Spanglish.  (?)

i need some fine wine and you need to be nicer

“The dealers are all so scared we’re more likely to get Helen Keller to talk. The Paki in a coma’s about as lively as Liberace’s dick when he’s looking at a naked woman, all in all this investigation’s going at the speed of a spastic in a magnet factory.”
“… I think you might have missed out the Jews.”
“What?”
“I think we need to explore whether this attempted murder was a hate crime.”
“What, as opposed to one of those I-really-really-like-you sort of murders?”

Gene Hunt (Philip Glenister) & Sam Tyler (John Simm) in Life on Mars (BBC 2007)

the wit and wisdom of dear Oscar

“Be warned in time and remain, as I do, incomprehensible: to be great is to be misunderstood.”

“Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.”

“And, after all, what is a fashion? From the artistic point of view, it is usually a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.”

“Hard work is simply the refuge of people who have nothing whatever to do.”

“He is really not so ugly after all, provided, of course, that one shuts one’s eyes, and does not look at him.”

“No great artist ever sees things as they really are. If he did, he would cease to be an artist.”

“Yet each man kills the thing he loves
By each let this be heard,
Some do it with a bitter look,
Some with a flattering word,
The coward does it with a kiss,
The brave man with a sword!”

“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.”

- Oscar Wilde

http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Oscar_Wilde